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Hating What I Should Love

I hate Mother’s Day.

I have two children. They are adult men now. I don’t consider it necessary to send me flowers, chocolate or gifts. They don’t have to take me out to dinner. I don’t want mushy, sentimental cards.

I should be able to ignore Mother’s Day. But I still hate it.

It’s some sort of strange reverse guilt.

If I were a Good Mother, my children would fall over themselves to honour me on Mother’s Day, no matter what I said about it. They don’t. So I must be a Bad Mother. That seems to be the public logic on the matter.

It seems that at least once  a year, this little family of three (plus partners and companions) has at least one member who is unemployed, broke, transiting, or otherwise in need. We help each other as we can when these things come up. We only have each other now, and we stay pretty close these days.

So keep your judgment of my family situation to yourselves this year, please.

You aren’t here and it is none of your business. If I want to be a Bad Mother and ignore Mother’s Day, it is my own dammed problem.

I’d say, “awesome.”



About Julie

Bishop of the church and religious order ICCO in The YOKE, based in Iowa City. Former Anglican parish priest, shepherd for ten years, artist, and writer.

8 responses to “Hating What I Should Love

  1. magdalenaperks ⋅

    If you are interested in the book illustrated, it is at:

  2. HouseCat

    Not everyone likes being given piles of sentimental stuff, and by honouring your wishes and not making a big fuss, they ARE being nice to you on Mother’s Day, just not in the showy way preferred by materialistic society. Being a close family that helps each other out is a lot more important than mushy cards. Anyone can send mushy cards and not make the effort the rest of the year, like certain people who will spend 363 days of the year being mean and then send a “Have a Wonderful Birthday” and a “Very Merry Christmas to you!”.

  3. paulaayn

    We’re not big on mother’s day either. I got a lovely picture from Ella and that’s enough 🙂

  4. wimmera ⋅

    Happy Commercialism Day’

  5. Frankie

    My Dad and brother helped my kids pick out a card while sending me for shampoo to another part of the store. They (Dad and brother) were then upset when I chose to leave it with Dad when I left rather than choosing to stuff it in one of my drawers after somehow getting it home undamaged. I’d rather have a gift that means something like a plant or personal drawing instead of a card.

  6. Bethrusso

    Finally!! I’m so happy someone feels the same way I do – I always just keep my mouth shut because I get a lot of eye rolling, etc. when I’ve mentioned it before. Thanks for making me feel normal – I always look forward to what you have to say, it makes sense, it’s rational, and it is what it is. Have a great day ~ Beth Russo

  7. JRJ2015 ⋅

    Oh I am not big on Valentines day, I feel love should be shown every day not just once a year …

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